I have a daughter in high school now. So far she seems to be doing fine and managing well. Except, I got a phone call today from one of her teachers. The teacher rambled on for a bit and said things like "Megan just doesn't seem to be very organized and seems kind of out in left field. Really she has horrible organization. And at the end of class when everyone else was leaving she got up to sharpen her pencil and when I asked her what she was doing she just gave me a blank stare and mumbled something. I just wondered if maybe she should be taking some medication. I wouldn't know because I don't have access to that kind of information so I thought I'd call you to find out what the story is."
It's been two hours since that interesting phone call and I think I'm sort of still in a state of shock. Medication? Really?
Last night Jason climbed into bed around 1 AM and asked if I knew how to spell "sleight of hand". I mumbled "s-l-e-i-g-h-t" and after a second of disappointed silence he said "how did you get so smart?"
He should have asked me how to spell prestidigitation and legerdemain (synonyms for sleight of hand). In my semi-comatose state I might have missed one of those.
This is what happens in a typical week at our house:
The boys (and sometimes the teenager) wrestle.
Megan has a concert (choir or orchestra, take your pick!)
Mom drives all over the place on various errands and takes pictures of stuff she thinks is "eye catching" through the car window. (this one was snapped on the way to the bike shop to fix a flat tire because EVERY plant in Arizona has thorns).
The boys drag themselves out of bed and try to sleep on the couch until it’s time for the bus to come.
Zach comes to stay with us for a bit. (this time we went to see him get his Eagle!)
Mom and the teenager try on clothes and mom buys the teenager a new shirt.
The boys get dirty building sand castles and want me to take pictures of it (in the dark). Then they fight me about taking a shower. They love their dirt.
The boys build something with all the chairs, towels, sheets, and pillows (and then ask if we can leave it for several days).
So you've heard the phrase "dirty old man". I knew that the "dirty" part is an epithet. I don't actually remember learning the definition of epithet but if anyone had asked I would have said it was a slur against someone. ie...two-faced.
However, did you know that "Alexander the Great" is also an epithet?
Turns out an epithet is just a word that is used to describe someone or something and can clearly be either positive or negative.
Couple of rules: it is always a metaphor (never a simile) and ancient epic poetry (think Homer) is full of epithets.
It can even be a stand alone comment: ie...."Swine" (Miss Hannigan to Mr Warbucks -- this could've been a "who said it?")
It's going to take me a while to get used to the idea that calling someone a "peacemaker" is indeed an epithet.
For my Who said it post this week I'm going to do a series of quotes. Every time this Father and Son interact it makes me laugh.
Son: I'm sorry, Father, but the truth is, this is not my day for talking seriously. Father: Well, what do you mean, sir? Son: I mean that I only talk seriously on the first Tuesday of every month. Between noon and three.
Father: What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual? Son: My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.
Father: I don't know how you stand society. A lot of d%#*d nobodies talking about nothing. Son: I love talking about nothing, Father. It's the only thing I know anything about.
Son: There's somebody I want you to talk to. Father: What about? Son: About me, sir. Father: Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible
Father: Married yet? Son: Ask me again in half an hour
Son: (to a statue) It is a great nuisance. I can't find anyone else to talk to. I'm so full of interesting information, I feel like the latest edition of something or other. Well, after some consideration... so much to do, there's only one thing to be done. There comes a time in every son's life when he must, indeed, follow his father's advice: I shall go to bed at once.
Point's for naming the movie, characters, or actors
WORD OF THE WEEK: (In which we learn we are never too old to expand our vocabulary)
Charivari (shuh-riv-uh-ree ) shivaree if you live in the U.S.
Definition: 1) a discordant mock serenade to newlyweds, made with pans, kettles, noise-makers, horns, etc. 2) a noisy celebration.
Example: Americans are brutal when they try to pronounce foreign words. Look at Karaoke. We butcher that word. But I guess some Americans in the south took this french word and decided that they would make it their own. On a side note....I prefer throwing rice or waving sparklers to banging pans at newlyweds. Shivaree at my house Friday!!
I've always thought a newspaper columnist would be the ideal job. Every week thousands of readers would eagerly turn first to your column, excited to be informed or at least amused at the latest news. Okay so they'd read the comics first...and probably the sports page too. But 3rd place isn't so bad. So hear's my chance! And I've deluded myself that with 3 followers I am close to syndication. I'm living my Dream!!
COMMON PLAYERS IN THIS FARCE:
Catherine, Laura, Ben, Erin, Ruth, Charles, Joseph, Aurelia, Morgan, Anna (brothers and sisters)